I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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