That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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