And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Randomize
