she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
