It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize