I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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