What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
