that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
We need a shit load of segways right now
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
