I puked a lego.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
