Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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