I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
I deserve to be covered in dicks
The cops high fived after they tackled you
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
