this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Randomize
