Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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