My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
