Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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