I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
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