Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
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