i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Randomize
