Welp...herpes.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
