god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
This baby is an asshole
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
