That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Randomize
