I saw his package. It spoke to me.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
