Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
