I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
