In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
we made out on top of his cat.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
50% drunk capacity currently
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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