i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
dude i'm inner monologue high
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
