I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Randomize
