How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize