i don't like sucking hair
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
It's never too late to be topless.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize
