Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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