i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
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