I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I didn't notice because vodka
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
