So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
