I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
I think people are normalizing furries
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Randomize
