she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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