We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
i can't believe i had my finger in that
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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