i think my tv is drunk
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Randomize
