I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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