Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Randomize
