You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
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