you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
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