I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
organizing the empties. That sober.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
