How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
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