i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
