i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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