Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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