It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
