Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
My ATM looks so different sober.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
