Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Randomize
