how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Randomize
