I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize