So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
