Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
