maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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