Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Randomize
