omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
ttyl tear gas
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
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