about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
