Pappa wants mamma naked
I cockslap morals
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
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