Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
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